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It takes a Christmas Village, or: Church and state, perfect together
A Christmas Village at City Hall?
Robert Zaller
If you thought there was no end to Christmas Kitsch, Thomas Bauer makes you think again. He's the Merchant for Christ who has been hustling so-called Christmas villages worldwide, including the City of Brotherly Love. It seems someone in 15th-Century Deutschland thought it a cute idea for drumming up seasonal business, and, well, it's a natural for these times too. Put up a manger, and bring on the iPods.
Back before Luther, there was only one religious game in town. Nobody had ever heard of separation of church and state. Diversity? You could have spelled it, but not explained it.
The fuss about using the word "Christmas" in Philadelphia, which made the Drudge Report, is only partly to the point. The larger point is: What are commercial vendors doing in front of City Hall in the first place? Isn't that the place where you come to get, uh, justice, and potholes fixed? Isn't it enough of a traffic hazard already? And isn't there plenty of space for street fairs elsewhere?
Well, you'll say, everything else is for sale at City Hall, so why not sleigh bells too? Good point. But even prostitutes take a break at Christmas.
The Archdiocese weighs in
Mayor Nutter offered to call the vending area a Holiday Village. This didn't mollify Matt Drudge or the Archdiocese of Philadelphia, which apparently thinks we're still in the 15th Century, or ought to be.
Frankly, I don't celebrate Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa or anything else, though I'm grateful to get a day off. I just don't want to have to pay for it with electric reindeer on my neighbor's lawn, or patriotic appeals to max out my credit card. I don't want to worship. I don't want to shop. I just want to sleep.
While we're on the subject, why is the president lighting Christmas trees? Pardoning turkeys is waste enough of his executive authority. (These are two reasons I would never consent to be president. Another is that I'd hate to have to salute every time I got off a helicopter.)
Church and state are dangerous enough to begin with. The Founding Fathers, guilty enough that they were creating a federal republic, knew better than to let these two monsters cozy up to each other. Spending tax money on faith-based initiatives and suchlike cant would have sent them scurrying back to the Articles of Confederation.
My modest proposal
Come to think of it, if we hadn't forsaken the Articles to begin with, we wouldn't have a national army and we wouldn't be in Afghanistan for eternity. But I digress.
Since the real god we worship is Mammon, I propose installing a golden calf in front of City Hall for the holiday season. You wouldn't need a title of any kind; everybody would get the message instanter.
Of course, there's a depression on, so the calf wouldn't last very long. But the purchasing power would reach the consumer long before President Obama's 2% payroll tax cut. We could leave a steaming pile of entrails in memory of the calf. Or, a steaming pile of . . .
How better to adorn City Hall?♦
To read responses, click here.
Back before Luther, there was only one religious game in town. Nobody had ever heard of separation of church and state. Diversity? You could have spelled it, but not explained it.
The fuss about using the word "Christmas" in Philadelphia, which made the Drudge Report, is only partly to the point. The larger point is: What are commercial vendors doing in front of City Hall in the first place? Isn't that the place where you come to get, uh, justice, and potholes fixed? Isn't it enough of a traffic hazard already? And isn't there plenty of space for street fairs elsewhere?
Well, you'll say, everything else is for sale at City Hall, so why not sleigh bells too? Good point. But even prostitutes take a break at Christmas.
The Archdiocese weighs in
Mayor Nutter offered to call the vending area a Holiday Village. This didn't mollify Matt Drudge or the Archdiocese of Philadelphia, which apparently thinks we're still in the 15th Century, or ought to be.
Frankly, I don't celebrate Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa or anything else, though I'm grateful to get a day off. I just don't want to have to pay for it with electric reindeer on my neighbor's lawn, or patriotic appeals to max out my credit card. I don't want to worship. I don't want to shop. I just want to sleep.
While we're on the subject, why is the president lighting Christmas trees? Pardoning turkeys is waste enough of his executive authority. (These are two reasons I would never consent to be president. Another is that I'd hate to have to salute every time I got off a helicopter.)
Church and state are dangerous enough to begin with. The Founding Fathers, guilty enough that they were creating a federal republic, knew better than to let these two monsters cozy up to each other. Spending tax money on faith-based initiatives and suchlike cant would have sent them scurrying back to the Articles of Confederation.
My modest proposal
Come to think of it, if we hadn't forsaken the Articles to begin with, we wouldn't have a national army and we wouldn't be in Afghanistan for eternity. But I digress.
Since the real god we worship is Mammon, I propose installing a golden calf in front of City Hall for the holiday season. You wouldn't need a title of any kind; everybody would get the message instanter.
Of course, there's a depression on, so the calf wouldn't last very long. But the purchasing power would reach the consumer long before President Obama's 2% payroll tax cut. We could leave a steaming pile of entrails in memory of the calf. Or, a steaming pile of . . .
How better to adorn City Hall?♦
To read responses, click here.
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