Parent Trip: Unexpected Roads to Form a Family, by Anndee Hochman

Yet all around us, we see the evidence of families. We know people are having children despite the economy and the state of the world. Statistics indicate that couples are choosing to begin their path to parenthood later in life, and for many people, this life-changing decision is not a straightforward journey. There may be fewer babies, but there are more choices and avenues now for aspiring parents. Families do not always look the way we expect.

A diverse picture of parenthood

Nobody knows that better than Philadelphia author and educator Anndee Hochman (also a longtime BSR writer). She has interviewed hundreds of families for her Parent Trip column, which ran in the Philadelphia Inquirer for nine years, from 2014-2023. Those stories revealed the intimate details of couples, families, and single people in their quest for parenthood. Now she has compiled 42 of those profiles into a new collection, Parent Trip: Unexpected Roads to Form a Family.

Stepping out from behind her column, Anndee Hochman shares her own personal journey to parenthood with her partner, Elissa. The book reveals why the couple waited till later in their relationship to expand their family and the bumpy path to conception. As in many of the profiles, theirs was not an easy journey.

One of Hochman’s goals in writing the column and producing the book was to showcase the wide variety of ways and means to becoming a family. She wanted to create a diverse picture of parenthood: conception, adoption, family-blending, fostering. The profiles are divided into nine chapters, each one introduced with a poignant story from Hochman’s own struggles and triumphs.

Always unpredictable

“If there’s a single word to capture my own parenthood journey, along with the nearly 470 Parent Trip stories I’ve told since this column launched in 2014, it would be unpredictable,” Hochman wrote in her final Parent Trip column in September 2023. “I’ve learned that no matter who you are—whether you’re 64 or 17, single or partnered, queer or straight, whether you’re forming your family through adoption, conception, or the merging of two different households—uncertainty is baked into the process.”

Hochman’s warm, conversational writing invites you in. You feel as if you’ve been handed a mug of tea as you sit at the kitchen counter listening, as someone shares their most intimate stories. The decision to be a parent may have been an easy one, but all of these tales reveal a complicated journey, many with surprising twists. It’s a credit to Hochman that she earned this level of trust with her Parent Trip families. There’s such warmth and honesty revealed in these tales.

A worthwhile journey

Each profile has a photo and begins with the love story of the couple to highlight how that love was the essential spark. The profiles are wonderfully diverse: married, single, queer, divorced. There are a few different religious backgrounds and races. The stories are a mix of harrowing, humorous, tragic, and heartwarming—sometimes all in one story.

One caveat: with this many birthing stories, details can begin to blur and feel repetitive. Take your time with this book, chapter by chapter, to get the fullest experience. What resonates is the shared experiences of all these people becoming families despite all the obstacles, setbacks, and tragedy. Love, and patience, win out over the unpredictability of it all. It may have taken unexpected twists, but the journey to parenthood was worth it.