You know you want it: NSFW Philly Fringe

The Philly Fringe Festival may be full of unexpected musical adaptations, slightly or extremely pretentious dance pieces, and questionable monologue experiences, but don’t forget the really fun stuff: the shows you probably shouldn’t be browsing from your desk at work.

The Fringe wouldn’t be the Fringe if you didn’t get tickets to something a tad racy, and if you haven’t combed the catalog yet for your options, here’s your BSR roundup. If your mom catches you reading this, you never met us.

Don’t be afraid to start off a bit weird with Incongruous ($10), from Laurencio Ruiz. “If you can handle it,” the catalog warns, the performance is an anatomically correct “explosive adult puppet show,” for “mature audiences’ inner child.” It’s running September 5 through 21 at Studio X, 1340 South 13th Street, Philadelphia.

And of course there’s Brian Sanders’ JUNK, because last year’s pulsing medley of cages, flying bare breasts, and twirling ladders wasn’t enough. This year, you can see Suspended ($35-$70), which invites you to “bliss out” in a “fantastical, titillating abyss.” Be warned (or beckoned): The unspecified content is adult, i.e., “raw, brash, erotic, extreme.” It’s running September 5 through 20 at JUNK, 2040 Christian Street, Philadelphia. Oh, and “Don’t miss the exclusive locker room pre-show.” Damn. Thanks for the invitation.

For all the sensual artists out there, Jasmine Zieroff adds to the Festival's dance offerings with The Back Door ($25): “Enter a secret passage to bask in the glow of the heart, shimmer of a breast, hip’s curve, back’s arch, scent of flesh, wrenched and mangled in the bliss.” Whew. It’s running September 5 through 20 at 2036 Montrose Street, Philadelphia.

Still want more? Find a date for The Orgasm Chronicles ($12) from OneTaste Philly, which has a very ambitious goal. It wants to reveal “a life saturated in orgasm: to be available, connectable, usable.” Maybe that’s a vision of life in The Cloud we could all get behind (with the right privacy settings). The show promises personal stories in prose and poetry and “a tour through the orgasmic cycle.” Told you this preview wasn’t daytime material. The show is running September 7, 14, and 21 at Biello Martin Studio, 148 North 3rd Street, Philadelphia.

And then there’s Annie Wilson’s Lovertits ($15), “a burlesque-postmodern-dance-theater-bad-improv performance.” We like interdisciplinary extracurriculars, but geez. The show asks why performing sexiness is so different from the real experience of sex, along with plenty of other questions: “Why anxiety dreams about losing things in your vagina?” “Why clitoris?” “Why weird bags of fat that hang from your chest?” Who knows, but we’re quite willing to do the research. The show is running September 19 through 22 at Ruba Club, 416 Green Street (2nd floor), Philadelphia.

Thanks for stopping by, but close this browser now and get back to whatever you’re really supposed to be doing. Later, you can check out the entire Fringe lineup, running September 5 through 21, here.

For more BSR Fringe roundups, check out our previews on this year's dangerously interactive shows and a list of occasionally bizarre Shakespeare adaptations.