Meet the stars of the National Dog Show before their TV debut

If there’s anything we can say for sure about human beings, it’s that we can’t help making an art form out of just about everything. Ever since we started leaving our handprints everywhere by blasting ink out of our mouths and onto prehistoric cave walls, we’ve been trying to sculpt nature into something a little more pleasing to the eye.

And one of our favorite aesthetic endeavors is our penchant for molding man’s best friend: Purebred dog shows encompass more arts than you ever thought possible.

The National Dog Show, coming up on November 15, is a Philadelphia-area tradition that is taped to air nationwide on NBC on Thanksgiving Day, watched by almost 20 million people.

How do you compare all those dogs?

For the uninitiated, who might not understand how you could judge a Dachshund against a Great Dane, dog shows like this one (hosted by the Kennel Club of Philadelphia) judge dogs in seven different groups, defined by the dogs’ form and function, and then the seven top dogs compete for a “Best in Show” ribbon. The dogs aren’t compared to one another so much as compared to each one’s own official breed standard. The one who conforms most perfectly in every ear, tooth, limb, gait, and hair is crowned the winner.

This effort practically transcends art for the realm of religion, as the American Kennel Club refers repeatedly to “sanctioned” breeds eligible for entry in the show — though like doctrine over the centuries, there’s room for change.

New breeds come into the fold almost every year. This year, the small, cottony-white Coton de Tulear, “the Royal Dog of Madagascar,” will join the ring. Previous years welcomed a hound dog known as the Portuguese Podengo Pequeno, the hairless Mexican Xoloitzcuintli, and the sporty Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever.

Living art forms

Dog lovers can choose their favorite art form: decades or even centuries of selective breeding for the functional and aesthetic traits that give rise to creatures as phenomenally different as the English Bulldog and the Saluki within the same species, the years of conditioning and training that prep the dogs for the judging, the showy expertise of the dogs’ human handlers in the ring, and the extravaganza of grooming that readies a little white cloud of a dog like the Bichon Frise for the cameras.

On that note, it’s worth mentioning that the National Dog Show is one of only a few “benched” dog shows left in the country, meaning that when the star canines aren’t in the ring, they’re hanging out in the building all day at the mercy of members of the public who always wanted to feel a Rhodesian Ridgeback’s distinctive backwards stripe of hair, see the Hungarian Komondor’s white dreadlocks, or find out how much a Mastiff really eats. (A word to the wise: however tempting those topiaries of fluff might be, don’t try to touch a freshly-groomed poodle unless you want the stare of death from tired handlers.)

What's in a name?

And speaking of the arts, there’s room for word-lovers too. Every show-dog has its “callname,” like Riley or Fawny, but their American Kennel Club registered names are showstoppers. Last year’s group winners included “Mistic's Longfellow Serenade,” a Standard Schnauzer; a Norfolk Terrier named “Yarrow Venerie Ticket To Ride;” and the famous Bichon Frise “Vogelfight’s ‘Honor’ To Pillowtalk.”

If all this makes you want to run to the nearest pound to cuddle a mangy but affectionate mutt, that’s O.K. Events like the National Dog Show are about the people who love (and maybe worship) dogs as much as they’re about the dogs themselves, and there’s always plenty to see and do, even if that’s cementing your decision to find your own pet at the shelter.

The National Dog Show is coming to the Greater Philadelphia Expo Center at 100 Station Avenue in Oaks, PA on Saturday, November 15 from 8am-6pm (with a second, family-friendly dog show at the same location November 16 from 8:30am-5pm). Saturday’s show, hosted by John O’Hurley (of Seinfeld and Dancing with the Stars fame), Mary Carillo, and David Frei, will air on NBC Thanksgiving Day. Tickets are $7-$14 (kids three and under are free). For more information, call 484-754-EXPO or click here.

At right: 2013 Sporting Group winner Riley (aka Whistlestop's Riley on Fire), an Irish Water Spaniel. Image by See Spot Run Photography.