Stay in the Loop
BSR publishes on a weekly schedule, with an email newsletter every Wednesday and Thursday morning. There’s no paywall, and subscribing is always free.
Like sex for chocolate
Antidote for sex addicts: chocolate
Perry Block
John Edwards. Schwarzenegger. Weinergate. Always another sex scandal in the news.
What's the big deal about sex, anyway? After all, it's nothing more than a transitory pleasurable experience in a relatively small part of the body.
Eating chocolate, on the other hand, produces a much more sustained period of pleasure that extends from your mouth and taste buds all the way down to your tummy.
"Hey, Brad," I said to my buddy the other day. "Your date last night? You eat chocolate with her?"
"What do you think, dude? Dark chocolate, milk chocolate, you name it. She even truffled me!"
"Wow!" I thought. Not every woman will do that.
"Seems like you're eating chocolate with a lot of different women these days," I said. "What's your secret?"
"Once you get 'em into your apartment, you put on the soft music, pour on the charm, then bring out the Godiva! Before you know it you're both headed up the Hershey Highway, her with nuts and you without!''
I admit I was jealous. I hadn't eaten chocolate with a woman in years. Frankly, I've spent a lot of time at home looking at YouTube video where this super hot redhead takes on an entire Whitman's Sampler. Naturally, I'd be frantically pounding down M&Ms while watching.
(Come on, don't act so shocked. Like you haven't done that too!)
I often wonder why every guy on the planet is obsessed with chocolate. According to Kinsey and Masters and Johnson, women love chocolate just as much as men do, but they seem to be constructed differently. Most women want to be in love with a guy before they'll hop on his Mounds or eat his Almond Joy.
"'Twas ever thus. As Shakespeare put it four centuries ago, "A Lindt bar by any other name would taste as sweet, unless it consists of more than 70% cocoa." Did that guy have enduring insights into the human condition, or what?
What's the big deal about sex, anyway? After all, it's nothing more than a transitory pleasurable experience in a relatively small part of the body.
Eating chocolate, on the other hand, produces a much more sustained period of pleasure that extends from your mouth and taste buds all the way down to your tummy.
"Hey, Brad," I said to my buddy the other day. "Your date last night? You eat chocolate with her?"
"What do you think, dude? Dark chocolate, milk chocolate, you name it. She even truffled me!"
"Wow!" I thought. Not every woman will do that.
"Seems like you're eating chocolate with a lot of different women these days," I said. "What's your secret?"
"Once you get 'em into your apartment, you put on the soft music, pour on the charm, then bring out the Godiva! Before you know it you're both headed up the Hershey Highway, her with nuts and you without!''
I admit I was jealous. I hadn't eaten chocolate with a woman in years. Frankly, I've spent a lot of time at home looking at YouTube video where this super hot redhead takes on an entire Whitman's Sampler. Naturally, I'd be frantically pounding down M&Ms while watching.
(Come on, don't act so shocked. Like you haven't done that too!)
I often wonder why every guy on the planet is obsessed with chocolate. According to Kinsey and Masters and Johnson, women love chocolate just as much as men do, but they seem to be constructed differently. Most women want to be in love with a guy before they'll hop on his Mounds or eat his Almond Joy.
"'Twas ever thus. As Shakespeare put it four centuries ago, "A Lindt bar by any other name would taste as sweet, unless it consists of more than 70% cocoa." Did that guy have enduring insights into the human condition, or what?
Sign up for our newsletter
All of the week's new articles, all in one place. Sign up for the free weekly BSR newsletters, and don't miss a conversation.
