Sound body, sound mind (a reply)

David Woods's December essay on "Physical Fitness Fascism" (click here) reminded me of a commercial for a gym called Planet Fitness, which purports to cater to ordinary folks, as opposed to barbell-busting meatheads.

In it, a slender gym staffer welcomes a swaggering muscular customer in boots, denim short shorts and a plaid button-down with the sleeves ripped off.

"What do you do for a living?" the employee asks.

"I lift things up and put them down," the muscular man replies in a passable Schwarzenegger impression. It turns out that's his only line, which he blithely repeats no matter what he hears.

As a girl who still has nightmares about grade-school gym class, I enjoyed that ad. In a world that idolizes slim bodies and physical fitness, it's a comfort for chubby intellectuals like me to stereotype fitness enthusiasts as buffoons and exercise as the painfully boring antithesis of mental engagement. I tended to agree with David Woods: Thank God Mark Twain and Jane Austen didn't spend too much time with Stairmasters and sit-ups.

But then I married a man who loves to work out, and my attempts to join him in the gym changed my perspective on exercise forever.

Spontaneous dancers

No, I didn't become a fitness fanatic— but not because (as Woods contends) it's boring. Quite the contrary: I've concluded that I lack the mental chops for serious exercise.

The first time it hit me, I was doing publicity work for the Rebecca Davis Dance Company. A photographer was capturing the dancers in rehearsal. He gestured for them to gather for a group shot.

But they didn't just pose. They scampered in, and, totally unprompted by anyone, formed themselves into a human sculpture.

Those dancers"“ about a dozen in all"“ instantly became a graceful collective form: the various bodies grouped in utterly balanced strata, their limbs extended and curved with all the style of a perfect wrought-iron banister.

The whole thing took about five seconds, but I never forgot it. It takes more than a superbly fit body to achieve that perfect bodily collaboration, that easy physical poise.

By contrast, when someone asks me to pose for a picture, I exhibit the kinesthetic finesse of a pregnant hippopotamus. A spoonful of cookie dough heaved at the lens could assemble itself with greater elegance.

Tedious, or complex?

As a professional writer, paid to discuss matters of art, culture, commerce and intellect, I assumed I was by definition cleverer than any sweaty gym rat obsessed with his body. But as I peeked over my husband's well-wrought deltoids into the world of bodybuilding, I found that the people I often mocked as dumbbell-yanking apes possess a consummate knowledge not only of human anatomy but also of nutrition and metabolism.

And that's not even counting the extraordinary mental challenge of lifting weights properly.

"Tedium seems to be endemic to most fitness programs," Woods writes. He claims that exercising the brain and exercising the body are mutually exclusive.

I wonder if Woods ever tried to properly execute a simple deadlift. The fact is, weightlifting "“ real, effective weightlifting— can be quite dangerous when it's done improperly. The human body is a minefield of muscles, fascia and joints just waiting to be popped and torn. But muscles governed by an acutely focused mind will keep you safe.

A simple deadlift

My husband set out to teach me, his sedentary writer wife, how to deadlift, which involves bending the knees to pick a large barbell off the floor, raising it to mid-thigh by straightening the knees, and putting it back down. How hard could that be?

Wait. Stop. Place your feet at the correct width! Now…no, no! Hands spaced like this! Get the correct grip. Don't arch your back and don't round it either "“ keep it in a perfect line, from your hips to the top of your head. Don't tense the shoulder blades!

Now you're forgetting your feet "“ push through your heels, not the balls of your feet… but watch those knees, they're caving in. Now, are you squeezing your glutes as you lift? But keep the stomach muscles tight too. Did you make sure to exhale while you lift? And don't lean back when the bar hits your thighs.

OK—we're halfway through the first rep! And at this point I don't know what's more overwrought, my hamstrings or my brain circuits.

Granted, my husband is an extreme case. He frowns on people who read magazines on the treadmill, because he thinks they should focus on the proper muscle group with each step.

Happy medium

You could argue, as Woods does, that workout mavens focus only on their own bodies without contributing anything to the world at large. But exercise isn't an all-or-nothing proposition— Mark Twain dictating from his bed, versus the late fitness pioneer Jack LaLanne, who ate, drank and slept bodybuilding 24/7.

The more moderate truth is that our physical bodies require a special intelligence to sculpt: Proper exercise can stimulate your brain as well as your muscles.

Besides, when I'm up against a deadline, there's nothing quite like a brisk walk to refresh and nurture my brain in ways that no chair or computer screen ever could.♦


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