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Do it-yourself news: The D.C. sex scandal
Congressional sex scandals: Do it yourself
Perry Block
WASHINGTON D.C. ---Another member of the U.S. House of Representatives has resigned his seat due to a sex scandal.
Late yesterday afternoon
(a) Representative Anthony Weiner of New York
(b) Representative David Wu of Oregon
(c) Representative Larry Craig of Idaho, or
(d) the representative from your district in your home state
became the
(a) second
(b) fourth
(c) 137th
(d) we've lost count!
member of Congress to be forced out of office this year due to an alleged inappropriate sexual relationship.
The resignation culminated weeks of allegations that he
(a) made repeated unwelcome advances for
(b) had lots and lots of
(c) had been fantasizing about having
(d) had been schwartzenegging
sexual relations with
(a) a member of his staff
(b) a very surprised man in the toilet stall next to him at the airport
(c) himself or
(d) a woman he met on Facebook after she tweeted that he was "hot."
The scandal first came to light as a result of
(a) allegations made directly by the victim of his unwelcome sexual advances
(b) allegations made by the person he'd been regularly shtupping for quite some time who finally realized what a loser he is
(c) the Congressman's practice of walking around Capitol Hill with his fly open or
(d) the Congressman's Twitter handle, @BigBoner11, which pretty much gave it all away.
In a prepared statement, the Congressman said,
(a) "I am truly sorry for having violated the trust of the people I have been privileged to serve while in Congress"
(b) "My failings are many, and preserving my family that I love dearly is paramount at this time"
(c) "I am very sorry I got caught" or
(d) "At least I got my rocks off, which is what really counts."
The Congressman's future is unclear at this point, but it's believed he will
(a) seek treatment for sexual addiction at an undisclosed clinic
(b) undergo involuntary castration by a knife-happy mentally crazed mohel
(c) spend a great deal of time with his family, during which he will be completely shut out by his wife, or
(d) co-host a talk show on CNN with Eliot Spitzer.
Late yesterday afternoon
(a) Representative Anthony Weiner of New York
(b) Representative David Wu of Oregon
(c) Representative Larry Craig of Idaho, or
(d) the representative from your district in your home state
became the
(a) second
(b) fourth
(c) 137th
(d) we've lost count!
member of Congress to be forced out of office this year due to an alleged inappropriate sexual relationship.
The resignation culminated weeks of allegations that he
(a) made repeated unwelcome advances for
(b) had lots and lots of
(c) had been fantasizing about having
(d) had been schwartzenegging
sexual relations with
(a) a member of his staff
(b) a very surprised man in the toilet stall next to him at the airport
(c) himself or
(d) a woman he met on Facebook after she tweeted that he was "hot."
The scandal first came to light as a result of
(a) allegations made directly by the victim of his unwelcome sexual advances
(b) allegations made by the person he'd been regularly shtupping for quite some time who finally realized what a loser he is
(c) the Congressman's practice of walking around Capitol Hill with his fly open or
(d) the Congressman's Twitter handle, @BigBoner11, which pretty much gave it all away.
In a prepared statement, the Congressman said,
(a) "I am truly sorry for having violated the trust of the people I have been privileged to serve while in Congress"
(b) "My failings are many, and preserving my family that I love dearly is paramount at this time"
(c) "I am very sorry I got caught" or
(d) "At least I got my rocks off, which is what really counts."
The Congressman's future is unclear at this point, but it's believed he will
(a) seek treatment for sexual addiction at an undisclosed clinic
(b) undergo involuntary castration by a knife-happy mentally crazed mohel
(c) spend a great deal of time with his family, during which he will be completely shut out by his wife, or
(d) co-host a talk show on CNN with Eliot Spitzer.
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