Can you pass this quiz on the first 100 days of Trump’s second term?

1) Which of these did Donald Trump promise (or threaten) in the first 100 days of his administration?

A) To build a “beautiful resort” on Mars after deporting any “socialist, Marxist, illegal aliens” who may already occupy the Red Planet

B) To establish a national required reading list for high school seniors that includes the King James Bible, The Art of War by Sun Tzu, and Talent Is Overrated by Geoff Colvin

C) To pause $175 million in funding to the University of Pennsylvania because it allowed a transgender woman to compete on its women’s swim team in 2021-22

D) To direct the US Mint to create a new 50-cent coin featuring Trump’s face on one side and the words “Too Big to Rig” on the other

2) An executive order signed on January 21, 2025 deems that citizenship in the United States will be reserved exclusively for:

A) Babies who have at least one parent who is a US citizen or lawful permanent resident

B) Babies born to mothers who can recite the Pledge of Allegiance (in English) while in active labor

C) Children whose parents take them for a ritual dip in the Gulf of America before three months of age

D) Offspring of exactly two heterosexual, cisgender parents who promise to love, honor and mark their anniversaries at a Trump-owned property for as long as they both shall live

3) What is the opposite of “true”?

A) Truthless (rhymes with ruthless)

B) True-ish (rhymes with flu-ish, a feeling you should remedy with raw milk, livestock dewormer, and quartz crystals because no vaccine is available)

C) Baseless, lacking empirical evidence, unfounded, fictitious, malarkey

D) Sorry; t**e, f***e, and variations thereof have been redacted from all public and private documents

4) Which of these is not true? (see question 3)

A) Trump barred Associated Press reporters from the White House after they refused to refer to the Gulf of Mexico as the “Gulf of America”

B) A leaked memo revealed Trump’s intention (squelched by former World Wrestling Entertainment CEO Linda McMahon, who is now the Secretary of Education) to rename the Mississippi River the “Miss Melania” because “no one can spell Mississippi”

C) According to a January 20 executive order, “Restoring Names that Honor American Greatness”, Alaska’s Mt. Denali (the Indigenous name for the peak) will be known by its former name, Mt. McKinley

D) A Texas lawmaker, Rep. Joanne Shofner (R-Nacogdoches) is pushing to rename a stretch of Interstate 35 as “President Donald J. Trump Highway”

5) New guidelines for arts organizations accepting National Endowment for the Arts grants have this requirement:

A) Visual artists must limit their color palettes to red, white, and blue

B) Playwrights must compose scripts no longer than 280 characters (Donald J. Trump’s attention span)

C) Singers must demonstrate that they can hit the high note in the national anthem (“and the la-and of the FREEEEE…”) while juggling a Bible, an AK-47, and a MAGA hat

D) Recipients must pledge that federal funds shall not be used to promote “gender ideology”, pursuant to Executive Order No. 14168 (see question 8)

6) As part of Trump’s “anti-woke” crusade, federal agencies have flagged the following terms to limit or avoid in all written or digital publications:

A) Funny, different, friend of Dorothy, femme, butch, homosexuality (unless it is paired with the word “abomination”)

B) Diverse, inequity, injustice, privilege, polarization, stereotype, trauma

C) Understanding, empathy, delight, wonder, awe

D) and (an inclusive conjunction that will be replaced, whenever possible, with or, but, or not)

7) Following the testy February exchange between JD Vance, Donald Trump, and Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky, Trump did the following:

A) Had an AI chatbot write a sorry/not sorry poem to Zelensky in the style of William Carlos Williams’s “This Is Just to Say”

B) Started to re-read the CliffsNotes for Machiavelli’s The Prince, then fell asleep

C) Used Google translate to learn the Ukrainian for “you suck; we win”

D) Cancelled a planned news conference with Zelensky and wrote on social media that the Ukrainian leader had “disrespected the United States of America in its cherished Oval Office”

8) Which of these passages is taken verbatim from Trump’s January 20 executive order, “Defending Women from Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government”?

A) “Basing Federal policy on truth is critical to scientific inquiry, public safety, morale and trust in government itself.”

B) “It is the policy of the United States to recognize two sexes, male and female. These sexes are not changeable and are grounded in fundamental and incontrovertible reality.”

C) “’Female’ means a person belonging, at conception, to the sex that produces the large reproductive cell.”

D) Omigod all of the above.

9) What has Trump not said about education?

A) “Keep education local, except, you know, for the cities, I’m not going to say which ones… that are worse than Afghanistan, some of those places are just rat-infested, graffiti-infested, burned-down, dangerous war zones.”

B) The US Department of Education is a hotbed of “radicals, zealots, and Marxists.”

C) “There’s no failed policy more in need of urgent change than our government-run education monopoly.”

D) “Twenty-five countries are better than us at education. And some of them are like third world countries. But we’re becoming a third world country.”

Answers:

1)C 2)A 3)C 4)B 5)D 6)B 7)D 8)D 9)A