Banality as an art form

He bakes blue velvet cake.
He has a list of Angies.
He was at Finnegan's Funeral.
His flip-flops don't.
He gave his watch to the neighborhood.
He can rhyme words with orange.
His nickname is "Nick."
His credit card has a picture of a credit card with a picture of a credit card.
He goes paperless in his bathrooms.
He taught his ducks to row.
He tells women his name is "Otto Palindrome."
Ballet dancers think he's on point.
"One size fits all" doesn't fit him.
He has been known to wax prosaically.
He taught Einstein how to franchise bagels.
His street address is Email Avenue.
He never loses one sock in the laundry.
The Boy Scout's "Most Interesting Boy Scout" merit badge is named after him.
He owns marble sculptures made out of marbles.
His dog calls him, "Dog."

"I don't think often,' he says, "but when I do, I think in platitudes."

"Stay banal, my friends."