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The ultimate creative challenge
Campaign slogans for Hillary Clinton
Dan Rottenberg
“What does Hillary stand for?” asked The Economist on its cover last week (April 11). A valid question, to be sure. But the same question was asked about Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1932, yet Americans elected him president four times and grew to love him. Arlen Specter never stood for anything either (except perhaps his own re-election), and he jumped back and forth between political parties with impunity, yet Pennsylvanians elected him to the U.S. Senate five times, and his death in 2011 triggered a statewide orgy of lamentations and rending of garments into sackcloth that lasted for at least 45 minutes.
But Hillary Clinton, with nothing to do but run for president for the next 18 months, is likely to confront questions about her core beliefs every day wherever she turns. Conservatives think she’s too liberal; liberals think she’s too chummy with Wall Street; feminists think she’s too tolerant of Bill’s infidelities; pundits think she’s too cold and calculating.
Next to this sort of challenge, a creative task like composing Verdi’s Otello or writing James Joyce’s Ulysses (or even reading it) pales by comparison. So what’s a nonideological pragmatist to do?
Turn to Broad Street Review for advice, that’s what.
Faithful BSR readers may recall that back in 2009, when Specter left the Republican Party to become a Democrat, this column helpfully provided a package of “Campaign slogans for Arlen Specter,” to be used by the senator whenever constituents questioned his party loyalty. (Click here.) Thanks to my suggestions, in 2010 Specter came within a whisker of defeating an unheralded Democratic candidate who promptly lost the general election to a Republican who had served in Congress for all of six years.
In that helpful spirit, I offer the Clinton campaign an array of rhetorical salvos for use as slogans, sound bites, and bumper stickers to silence her rivals, or at least change the subject, when they question her principles, or lack of them. Come to think of it, many of the slogans I’ve proposed here for Hillary are identical to the slogans I proposed for Arlen. The possibilities are endless:
“Hillary Clinton: More Washington experience than Lincoln and Obama combined (and almost as much as James Buchanan)!”
“Hillary : Consider the alternatives.”
“Hillary : The world’s most energetic 67-year-old!”
“Hillary : Pragmatic to a fault.”
“Hillary : Better the devil you know….”
“Hillary : She supports gay marriage (I think).”
“Hillary : She’s pro-choice (I think).”
“Hillary : She’ll go toe-to-toe with Putin (I think).”
“Hillary : Because it’s women’s turn to mess up the world.”
“Vote for Hillary : You would prefer Ted Cruz?”
“Hillary : Her marriage has outlasted George Washington’s!”
“Hillary in the White House: Your best protection against the return of Dick Cheney (and Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz, too).”
“Hillary : Give maturity a chance.”
“Hillary : The persistence of Nixon, without the paranoia!”
“Hillary : The brains of Bill, without the adultery.”
“Hillary and Bill: You would prefer Jack and Suzy Welch?”
“The Clintons: Our dynasty is better than your dynasty.”
“Hillary : She may not be much fun, but her husband is.”
“Hillary : You can’t beat her, so why not join her?”
“Hillary : Disciplined and determined!”
“Hillary : Give her eight years, and she’ll never bother you again!”
“Hillary : Make enough noise, and she’ll tack in your direction.”
“Hillary : She’s likable enough.”
“Hillary : Well, at least she’s no ideologue.”
“Hillary : You could do a lot worse!”
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