Maralyn Lois Polak

As a devotee of great romantic novels and movies, I spent decades searching for D.H. Lawrence's sensuous gardener from Lady Chatterley's Lover. After seeing Never Again, I switched to exterminators. Would you believe I'm still searching?

I'm the last survivor in my family, and so I've become my family's museum— the repository of all our lost dreams and desires. What am I supposed to do with all these crystal, porcelain and lace symbols that once defined the finer things in life?

My brother Marty was gay, but not happy. As adults we weren't especially close. It wasn't until he died of AIDS 20 years ago that I really came to know and appreciate him.

Excuse me, but isn't all this environmental correctness becoming a convenient marketing ploy?

When Literature becomes Life, watch out! What is life, after all, but a series of interlocking narratives?

Let him die on a Sunday, she decides. And so she calls me, and I come.

Thanks to modern medical science, most men survive prostate cancer. But the doctors don't tell you that sometimes the process can transform a macho man into a girly-girl, at least temporarily.

Back in the day, we never thought of betrayals of the body— only betrayals of lovers. Now that the tide has turned, to whom should I send my Valentine?

Did the talk of Newt Gingrich's open marriage actually help him win the South Carolina primary? Maybe so. Many Americans cherish the same fantasy, as I can attest from personal experience.

North Korea's late leader was demonized in the West as a tyrant preoccupied with bombs and gulags. Yet away from his day job, this creative soul pursued other passions, as a prolific writer, filmmaker and critic.

Producer Jeff Lurie is miffed because the director of his Oscar-winning film neglected to thank him at the awards ceremony. As a small-scale filmmaker looking to crash the big time, I will eagerly perform any requisite display of gratitude in exchange for your support.

A challenge for the post-Christmas season: Do I really want the ratty Ralph Lauren bathrobe my grumpy ex-boyfriend gave me? Does anyone want it?